hmm..the who..i was rereading my last entry and i kno i dont need a who but wouldn't life be so much easier if there was a who. time, i've been passing time this whole summer is wat it feels like..not as bad as 3rd quarter..this summer is definitely he lesser of the two..hardships and pain but its still pretty empty..i did however find that i enjoy talking with erwin, serious stuff too and it's refreshing..the lets see monday sunday and possibly saturday were not fun at all for me..i was in a lil depression and just a terrible state of mind..i seriously did not know how long it would take me to git out of it but i dint want to do anything at all..there wasn't a single thing that i looked forward to..it was weird tho cus on friday i scraped my arm and there was some blood and it was painful but its like i almost enjoyed the pain and it was a distraction and something out of the ordinary to keep me busy and occupied for a little bit, my reaction to this disturbed me a little..i have so much time to reflect and think at work and at home and i was thinking of this problem i have with relatiionships in general..i cannot sustain any meaningful long-lasting relationships is basically it. sometimes theres been an excuse for why i go from groups of friends to groups of friends and other times it has to do with a fight or a falling out...i want some long term friends and im still searching for that group that i can't seem to find..mebe its there and im too stupid to figure it out is all..i dont kno anymore